ROGUE TRADER THE AWAKENING: WE GO TOGETHR
by sangheilitat1337
Summary: chelkar is a rogue trader in the remedia district of space he is sent t police the world ploce but watch out bcause somthing mihgt not b what it seems!" rated t for swears and mature content
1. Chapter 1

Chelkar was chillin on the bridge of the Scion of Remedia, his pretty asskickin' Frigate, like he always does when suddenly he felt the urge to go chillax in the recroom

So he went to the recroom and was chillaxin when he started thinking about past missions that his father was a part of he was thinking about barja the dead kriegan bitch who had

saved his fathers life so many times before. and then he thought of the ork that he made fun of and got hte others kills! but there was no time for that because suddenli a alarm went off

and the lights died and the red flashing emergenci lite start blare.

"What is tht" Chelkar wondered to himself.

"Papi, what is the status of the ship" Chelkar asked the pilot on the radio

"Its a me! Papi! i DON'T A KNOw what is a going on!" he said over hte radio

"Well figure it out papi or else we will be oh no" said chelkar on the radio as he slowly turned his eyes over and let out a loud GHASP there were DEMON in the room with him

and they look like they were spoilin for a fite.

"Hey you human you want to fight fight me" Said the demon with the flamey sword "I'll make ur life a living hell!"

"Oh no" said chelkar as he made arush for the bulkhead door.

But the demon was 2 quick 4 him and grabbed him by the foot.

"haha got you now" said the demon

"No u dont" said chelkar as he initiated combat and grappled the demon after rolling a natural 1

"get off me pathetic human" said the demon as it wrestel in chelkar's graple

"No" said chelkar as he pull out his power axe and begin to swing at the demons face

"Ow pls stop" said the demon but it was too late because chelkar had already begun the death swing and cleave the demons face in two

"Heh, not so tough were you sonny" said chelkar as the demon slumped to the ground

_it was ded_

"Chelkar its a me! papi! The geller is down! I think I can a fix but oh jesus a christ!" Papi said as the radio cut off abruptly

"Papi come in it is chelkar say again over" but it was too late, for all he knew, papi was ded "Looks like its all up to me now" said chelkar as he grab his stun stick and headed for the brdige

after what seem like forever to walka cross the frigate (because the scion of remedia is a big ship **lol**) he finally make it to the bridge

"Haha ur too late chelkar" said the Greater Burrito Demon

"Burrito Deamons!? on my ship!?" scream chelkr in disblf

"Its more likely than you think essay" said the burrito demon

But it was too late for the burrito demon because chelkar had already secretly made backdoor plans with the GM and suddenly a bulkhead open and a leman russ burst from it

"**Kill them all! move guardman go!"** said the sargent

"Heh, it was nothing peronsal" chelkar said as papi sprang from hiding and began to eat the burrito deamon (_papi is mexican so he is rly god at eating burritos_)

After that the burrito demon and all his nacholings were kille by the IG and the bridge was back under control.

"SO now what" said strom verus who juts woke up after being afk for like 2 months

"I dont know" said chelkar "Corinthe advance the plot tell what hapen"

"Well uh you see there is still one prolem with the gellar field" said corinthe "Andm y blinky screen is still picking up a HUGE BLIP at the gellar field room"

"Then we will go there" said chelkar, "gentlemen, onward!"

...

...

...

"Strom?"

But strom was afk agian

so the groiup venture to the gellar field room where they suddenly all made a huge GHASP and their eys went wide when they saw the worst possible thing feasting on their mountain dew warp drive.

it was the Dorritosus Maximus aka Dorrito Demon, it feasted on mountain dew and MLG energy coming straight from the rogue trader crew themselves.

"Get off my dick dorrito demon" said chelkar

"No" said dorrito demon "ur so mlg i must fest on ur energy 4 survife"

"No demon get off or u wil be kil" said chelakr

"Ok." said the demomn as it got off the drive

BUT IT WAS ALL A RUSE becase then out of nowhere mountain dew demons came out of the walls, they were green mist and were posess chelkars men and turn them into** silver 2** scrubs.

"Oh no" said chelkar as he drew out his stun stick he knew the only way to kill non mlg energy was with straight up 420xxx dankscope enegry that was emitted from his stun stick.

and so he begans winging at everyone and everything recking them up and at one point he hit papi because chelkar doenst like hispanic very much he said it was an accident but it rly wastn

finally the demon dorrito was kill and the gellar field was back to normal

up at the bridge they were morning papis death when suddenly papi came back alive to the bridge!

"HE SURVIFE" said chelkar

"its a me! a papi!" said papi, "Where do you want a to go!?"

helo station sadi chelkar

ok said papi

and so they went into the warp but then papi rolled a 99 because his dice rolls are total shit and then they got sucked into the warp and shit out the wonng place.

"Where are we" said chelkar

"We are at the EYE OF TEROR" said Papi

chelkar sigh and pull out lho stick he never smoke (cuz his mom, erica chelkar wont let him even tho chelkar is of leagal ages in his cuntry) but he thot now waz god time 2 he lean back in commander chair and breth in the sweet toxic while listening to this song watch?v=zEClCAFjYHg

TO BE CONTINUED

PLS BE GETNLE IS MY FIRST FANFIC PLS GIV GOOD CRITICIS

IF U LEV NAY BAD CRITICSM ILL CUT U KK


	2. Chapter 2

Chelkar slowly breath out the sweet toxic of his lho stick, he never like 2 smoke ecause it was bad 4 u but now was a good time for it

since PAPI had roll a 100 on hi fucking dice and now they were outside hte ey of terror

"papi" said chelkar "Can u get us out of here"

"Its a ame! papi!" said the mexican "No icant ! we are a beingpulled!"

"oh no" said chelkar as he saw on the screen that the ywere being puleld toward the eye of teror ny some un4seen force

it tok a few days for the ship to reach the ye of teror but the TEROR was just about to begin! suddenlt chelkar felt a loud BANGNIG noise on his ship hull

"Papi what is that"

"Oh no! it a seems lie something is try ing to get into hte shjip!" said papi

But before chelkar cud react he let out another lloud GHASP as the bulkhead above him caved in to revela a strange human being looking person fallin front of him

"Who are you" said chelkar

"I'm remedia's reckoning" said the masked man

"Why do you wear the mask" said chelkar

"To keep me alive"

"If i take that off would u die"

"YEs" so chelkr took the mask and he died

"Heh, nothin personel gkid" said chelkar

BT THEN THEY ALL GET TELEPORTED OUTSIDE A FLESH PLANET AD THEN THE FRIGATE CRASH LANDED

"Oh no" said chelkar as he realise they were about 2 get fukt

and so he stepped out of the ship and saw that the planet was full of scumbags they came in papis ass til he prolapsed

Chelkar said "I hey eah what a good set i could come a little bit myself" and he started lickin up his cum

And then the dicks strted cummin and they didnt stop cummin

chelkar hit the ground and hit the ground runnin

Didnt want to suck dicks for fun but papi didnt think it made sense not 2 suck dick for fun

didnt make sense not to live for sex papi wants his mouth raped and his ass to be reket

chaos demson case the holucast so much pussy so much dick.

And so chelkar made his way away fro mthe enemys and hid behind a giant pussy mound

"How am i gona get out of this one" said chelkar

"I know" said strom after coming back from being afk again

"How about we use the shuttle craft to escape the planet?"

"Thats a good idea strom" said chelkar "Lets go there now"

...

...

...

...

But strom was afk again

so chelkar ran to the ship carrying strom lifelse body wheneverhis eye WENT WIDE when he saw the impossible

It was a pussy demon and it was lookin lik it was spoilin for afite

"Go away pussy demon i dont want to get eaten" said chelkar

"No" said the demon "I want to stick u inside of me"

"Oh no" said chelkar as he pickd up da pace

"oh no udont" said the gaping hole dragon as it chased after him

but thankfully chelkar invested money into endurance so he could keep up da pace for a realy long time and outran the piusy demon

"Heh, didnt even break a sweat" said chelkar

he got to the shuttle and lay strom on the ground and puled out his binoculars to look at the stuff

He saw 3 penis demons standign guard by the shuttle

"Oh no, how couldi possibly get pat this" he thought

but suddenyl he saw a warp rfit appear and what looked like a psyker pop out

"Oh wow its my dream come true" said the psyker "Hey big boys show me your dicks!"

and so the dick demons ran off with the psyker to do unholy things best left unsaid

"Now is my chance" said chelkar as he ran to the shuttle w/ strom

he lay strom down onto the shuttle but then suddenly there was a loud SPLOOSH as the pussy demon finally caught up with him

"Heh did u think i wud just give up u pathetic human" said the demon "U will be used as my dildo do u understand"

"No" said chelkar as he found a rpg to throw at it but the demon just ate it and laughed

"What can i stick in this bitch to fill her up the way' thoght chelkar

"its ame! papi!" said papi as he came in flying the scion of remedia

"Papi dnt do it pls' said chelkar

"But i a have to to save the planet! I'll see you in hell chelkar!" siad papi as he drove the ship into the pussy demon overloadingits sense and breaking it in half

but not before insinuating a singularity and a black hole appear

"uh oh" said chelkar

"Get in" said strom after finally coming back to the keyboar ashe was on the pilot chair

so chelkar jum in and they flew away in the ship as the flesh planet got engul by the biggest hole in the universe

"That was close 1" said chelkar

"Yes it was" said strom

"Well then, it looks like we got other stuff2 do" said chelkar "What do u think we shud do now" he asked strom

...

...

...

"Strom?"

But strom wasnt there

TO BE CONTINUED


	3. Chapter 3- Planetfall

"strom wake up!" said chelkar

but it was 2 late, the ship had alredy enterd orbit of the crystal planet and they had already passed the event horizon

"This is gona be a bmpy ride!" said chelkar

After making sure stroms lifeless body was strappedi ot he seet, chelkar fastened his own belt and decide to smoke another lho stick, he was gona need it for 4 this one

The warning light blare as he breth in the sweet toxic, "Hop tis one isnt my last" he thot 2 himself

as he continue to play this song in his head /watch?v=VmK5tUwHDxQ as the shutle plumet 2 the ground

suddenly while the shutle was falling, a small bird demon appear in the shuttle bay, ad it look like it was spoilin for a fite.

"What do u want bird demon!?" shouted chelkar

"I want ur pilot!" he said

"No!" chelkar said as he unfastened his belt and grappled the bird demon

as he kept the bird grappled he opened the cockpit door

"If you talk, yo uget to stay n my aircraft!" shouted chelkar

but the bird said nothing

"Alot of loyalty for a sentient bird!"

"He's probably wondering why you would throw him out of the shuttle, when he could just fly away" said strom as he came back from the afk grave

Chelkar threw the bird out the shuttle and it flew away

"Strom! You're alive!" said chelkar

"Yes I am, Chelkar" he said "What happened while I was gone?"

"We are trapt in the gravity of the planet" said chelkar

'Oh, I see, hang on" said strom

"Congratulations strom, your afk'ness got ourselves caught ni the event horizon, whats the next step of your amstr plan?!"

"Crashlanding this ship!"

"WITH TWO SURVIORS!"

And so strom took teh controls nd start doin som super agility rolls, he rolled a anatural 1 on all his rolls and sucesfuly cash landed the shutle w/o killing anyone!

"Wow that was close 1 strom" said chelkar as he unfasten hsi belt again and look over

...

...

"strom?"

But strom was afk again

And so, chelkar try to open the shuttle door but it was bolted shut! so he blasted teh bolts off with his underslung tau rail gun (yes its a real thig look it up) and stepped outsdie

all he could see was crystals

crystal weverywhere

"Wow, thats alot of crystals" said chelkar

"ur damn rite it is bitchboi" said a voice from aboves

it was the demon bird "I still want ur pilot gayboi" it said "I knew u wud be here, my master told me it was in the plan"

"Fuck u" said chelkar as he took aim w/ his railgun

ut he roll a 50 and missed (he didnt invest in BS enuf)

"Fuck" said chelkar as he saw the bird get closer

"heh u cannot reach me on top of the shuttle pathetic human" said the bird

"Think again" said chelkar as he rolled a natural 1 on his agility test and jumped up and grappled the bird

"Ow let go of me, how is this possible"

"AGILITY BONUS, SON" he said, as he broke the birds neck

"No.. not acoordin... 2 teh plan.." said the bird as it die

"heh, not so tough now are ya SON" said chelkar

but there was no time 2 waste because chelkar knew if he saty there he would be KIL BY DEMON so he went to the only dorway availabe 2 him

but it was a trap! it was a huge tzeentch maze and it took chelkar like 3 sessions to naviagte it (it was ap ain in the ass wtf ichor u kno i hat puzles)

and so chelkar finally make it to the end of the maze when he realise it was another trap! he was poison by some mystical creature thatsprang from a hole in the wall! and he was going to die!

and finally chelkar rech a giant door w/ but a single thing standing guard it look like a human but w/ antlers

"U are sick" said the demon thing

"i dont have time 2 cough" said chelkar

"ur sickness will kill u and can only be cure by crystals" said the deomon"

"Oh okay, i want to be well again" said chelkar

"But there is 1 thing" it said "It will increase the size of ur Wounds"

"Oh ok" said chelkar as he touch the crystal

but it was a trap!

suddenly chelkar's body begain to quiver an shake

"oh no" said chelkar as he felt himself transforming

after a nasty trans4mation he realised he was now a weird thing with over 100 wounds, he knew then he would e stron enuf to fite the evil beyond the door

"Heh, thanks kid" said chelkar as he kill the antler demon "2 ez"

and so chelkar open the door and burst in and he found a strange demon he never see b4

"Hello, Erik" said the demon

"How u kno my name"

"I kno evryting ter is 2 kno bout the universe"

"How is this possible?"

"Chaos energy SON"

"wow, that is amazin"

"Ye it is, just like how i knew u wud cum thru that door just now. u are here 4 a reson chelkar, i made it so u would be here to make a choose"

"Will you join me, and rule the galaxy as bird and birdman? or will u defy me and risk being KILL BY CRSTAL 5evr?"

"Wait, KILL BY CRYSTAL?!" ask chelkar?

"Yes, u didnt think u were 100 wounds because of the crystal didu?"

"That thing is poison u, i am one that gave u 100 wound chelkar, to counteracti t"

"Dis is impossibl" said chelkar

"Just look!' said the thing as he take the wound away

"Ow my dick" said chelkar

"thatsu riiight" said Tzeentch, "to me, your disease is fuckign reality"

"Join me chelar and we will win the world"

chelkar thot long an hard about dis, b4 finally taking out another lho stick (he never smok b4 except those first 2 times bcz its bad 4 u)

and breath in the sweet toxic

"heh, u think im just some bitch that will do w/e birdman wants?" ask chelkar?

"Think again son!" he said as he prepare his hand

"This hand of mine is burning red! glowing w/ the embers of remedia! GLOWING RED REMEDIA FIIIIIST" HE SHOUTED

"oh no" said tzeentch as he aw the spiral fist come to him

"pls stop" said tzeetnch as he try to take way the 100 wounds and 99 skill bonuses but it was 2 late

the spiral hit tzeentch in the dik, an dspiraled up his colon into his throat and out his mouth! after that tzeentch explode into a burst of blue white flame and kept burning for like an hour (it was rly col) b4 finaly fading out

"Heh, nothin' personel.. KID" said chelkar as he walk waway, his wounds and stats now ack to normal

"Well fuck, how do i get out of this one"? thought chelkar

But then his radio crackle 2 life

"Chelkar! its a me! papi! I a survife!"

"Papi?" thought chelkar "HE SURVIFE?"

"papi it is me do u copy do u have my coordinates i say again voer i am at the tzeench maze"

"Copy a that!" said papi, "I wfoud strom at the shuttle crash adn we rescue him, it look like he is afk again"

"Yes, good observation" said chelkar now come pick me up

oka!

an so

chelkar took off his helmet and sit down on a rock next to the changer's charred corpse

as a valkyrie alnded to come pick him up, inside was papi an strom who was back from bein afk

chelkar! said strom and papi

we have the ship working again, what do we do now?

"we do theone thing we're good at" said chelkar

the cmaere zoomo in on his face

"We go bounty huntin" said chelkar as the camera show him make a shit eating grin and then this song play /watch?v=TeXatquVqAc

TO BE CONTINUE

_CHAPTER 3 MILESTON!_

_thank u 4 al the criticisms guys, i trie to make my story look better i hpe u guys enjoy it_

_as for you, jack100, fuck you, you dont even try to give criticism, u just make fun of me and i aint got time 2 fret over every hater like u when i'm making the mother of all omeletes over here, jack._

_ok im going to end rant now and end on a hi note!_

_we have 6 reviews now! (5 if u dont count jack100, fuck you jack)_

_thanx for the criticis guys keep it coming!_

_but make sure its COSTRUCTIV CRITICIS or you will be osry!_


	4. Chapter 4- the intervew

_This world is crazy_

_This world is crazy_

_You know it's killin'_

_All its babies_

_This world is crazy_

_This world is crazy_

CHAPTER 4

Chelkar puff out the sweet toxic from his lho stick as he overlook the command bridge (he never smoke b4 except those last 3 times beacause it's bad for you)

"Papi, how close are we to getting out of the eye of terror?" said chelkar

"Its a me! papi!" said papi "it looks like a we gona be stuck here for a while!"

"God damn it papi" said chelkar "How are we suposed to bring the moneys if we cant go get bounties?"

"I don't a know!" said papi "Jesus a christ!"

but then suddenly the wraning siren start 2 blare

"Oh no" said chelkar "papi wat is go on"

'Oh a shit!" said papi "it looks like we are being pulled in to another planet!"

"God damn it papi" said chelkar "Get us out of here"

"It is too late" said strom "We are already in the eent horizon again"

and so the ship crash again into another planet and chelkar step out of it

but then he learn that this planet was full of blood and flesh and skull shit

"Ew' said chelkar "It looks like Jack's bedroom" (Fuck you jack)

"Hey" said jack100 "Dont make fun of my bedroom, My chemical romance is good band!"

"Oh my god what the fuck" said chelkar as he saw the abstract monstrosity known as jack100 come towards him

It was a nasty thing with folds of flesh and viscera and my little ponies hangin off of its flesh flaps

"Fuken disgustin" said chelkar

"hey dont talk sht to me" said jack100 "lots of guys are into it, at least i can spel ponies faget unliek u icant tell if ur bein srs or just sarcastic!"

"Let's see if you can understand this then!" said chelkar as he swing his power axe at jack's pony dolls

"applejack no!" said jack as he fall to the ground to pick up his doll

but as he was distracted chelkar put his axe in 2 hands and lift it over jack's head

"Heh, all 2 ez" said chelkar as he drop the axe

But it was nt gonna be dat ez because suddenly in a fit of rage jack100 put his fist into chelkars stomache

"U think im just gona go down that ez" said jack "think again bitchboi"

"Shut up jack u cant even do criticis rite" said chelkar as he brought up his axe "I was just gona shoot u but i think ima cut u up" he said as he swing at jack

he hit him and cut his other pony dolls off of his flesh mounds

"Twilight! FLuttershy! NooOoOOOOO!" scream jack

Chelkar smile as he realise jacks one wekness was pastel colored ponies "heheheh time 2 get rekt nub" said chelkar as he prepare the railgun

"What u gona do w/ that" said jack

"MAKE TEH MOTHER OF ALL OMELETS" said chelkar as he fire at jack

The railgun shot cook jack so much that he turn into a omelet and rll dwn the mountainside when he hit the bottom the omlet jack got eaten by a pack of hungry warphounds

"Heh, it was pretty personel, KID." said chelkar knowing that his arge nemesisis was ded

But it wasnt over yet because sudenly chelkars thots were interrupted by a

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUCKER?!"

"uh oh" said chelkar as he turn around "Who is that"

BUT IT WAS A NASTY DOUCHEBAG IN ARMOR AND A BLOOD AXE ND HE LOK LIKE HE WAS SPOILIN FOR A FITE

"HEY YOU BITCH BOI" SAID THE DUDE "IM GONA FUCK U UP IF YOU DONT TELL ME WHAT U DIN HERE RIE NOW"

"Bruh" sai chelkar "We just crash here pls dont hurt me"

"WAHT WAS THAT BITCHBIO" " ALL I HEAR IS U COMPLAININ AN PEOPLE THAT COMPLAIN MAKE ME FUCKIN MAD BOI I TELL U WAHT"

"Okay then bitch, dont fuck w/ me or u wil lget the horns" said chelkar

"OH U THINK U A BIG MAN" SAID THE DUDE

"For you" said chelkar

suddenly both the figure stare off at eachother and both wer silent

until sudenly the red dude in armor burst out lolin

"UR PRETY GOOD" SAID THE DUDE

"Yeah u too" said chelkar

"TEL U WAT, INCE U R SUCH A MLG BANGIN BALLA, LETS GO FUCK AROUND AND STUFF WHILE U GET UR SHIP FIX'T"

"ok sounds good" said chelkar as he radio into papi "papi this is chelkar im go have a ballin ass time while u fix the ship ok"

"God a damnit! how come i never have fun!"

"Because you are hispanic"

"ok"

and so chelkar and the dude go an have fun.

They did lot of cool stuff like shoot the skulls on the skul mounds, ride the warphounds, bet on warphound fites, blaze some sweet blood dank, blood orgies and even try

khornes own brand of code red moutnain dew! but the drink was 2 dank for chelkar and it make him trip the fuck out.

"Woah what is this" said chelkar as "we pump up the bass by skrillex" played in the backgrounde

"WOAAAH THIS IS SOME DANK SHIT" SAID CHELKAR AS HE KEEP TRIPPIN THE FUCK OUT

he imagine all kinds of scary stuff happenin to him, he dreamed that there was some douchebag who actually took time to write paragraph long reviews of fanfiction on the internet

and that he took his 'job' so seriously that he did it for free.

and then chelkr wake up screming

"WHAT IS THE PROBLEM BROSEF" SAID KHORNE

"Nothing bro, i just dreamed that there was a concerned reader leaving stupid long reviews on the internet" said chelkar

"OH WOW, THAT SOUNDS PRETTY HORRIBLE, THOSE PEOPLE DONT EXIST RIGHT?"

"I sure hope not" said chelkar

"YOU KNOW CHELKAR, U HAVE TAUT ME THAT THERE IS MORE 2 LYF THAN KILLING, MAYBE ONE DAY I CAN ALSO BECOME THE DANK GOD OF 420 BLAZE IT"

"Mayb" said chelkar as he went to shake khornes hand

but suddenly, a warp rift open not too far awy

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT' said khorne

and out pop a faggot dressed in psyker robes

"aww maaanynyn i was lisnen to bolt thrower!" said the fag

"AWW HEELLL NAW" SAID KHORNE AS HE RAISE HIS BLOOD AXE

"Oh no" said chelkar

"U SMELL LIKE THAT FAGGOT SLAANESH" SAID KHORNE AS HE RAAISE HIS AXE TO STRIEK THE FAG DOWN

"chelar! gais tell him im not a fag and im w/ u guys!" said the faggot

"How do u know me" said chelkar

"U know how i know u we are like bet bros!" said talos

"BUT I THOGUTH WE WERE BEST BROS" SAID KHORNE

"U LIE TO ME CHELKAR AND NOW I KILL U ALONG W/ UR FAGGOT FRIEND"

"uh oh" said chelkar "How am i gona get outa dis 1"

"RUN U GAIS" said talos and they both run away

as they were runnin to the ship chelkar spot a warp cannon and he got a idea

"Talo come w/ me bro!" said chelkar "I know how 2 get us out of here!"

"umm oka i guess" said talos

and so the ygot to the warp cannon and chelkar told talos to get in

"Uh is this a safe idea?" thought talos

"Yeah sre buddy" said chelkar as he hand talos his iVox "listen to bolt thrower and it wil lall be over soon

"Nooo" i dont like bolt throw er anymore theyre pretty meh and generic, i listen to asking alexandria now!"

"Wow wat a fag u have become" said chelkar as he close the hatch

After this chelkar pull out his own iVox and start playing Katie Perry Firework over hte speaker and set it down and put the cannon on a time fuze then he run away

A FEW MINUTES LATER KHORNE CAME RUNNIN UP

"WHERE ARE THOSE FAGSHITS" SAID KHORNE WHEN SUDDENLY HE HEAR "BABY UR A FIREWOOORRRK" AND HE SEE THE WARP CANNON

"I WILL FOLLOW THAT FAGGOT SOUND AND KILL THEM" SAID KHORNE AS HE RUN UP TO TEH CANNON

BUT THEN HE REALISE IT WAS A TRAP! AND THE WARP CANNON FIRE!

but it only sent sang out into the void, and khorne, being so mad, chased after him, giving chelkar the time he need to gtfo the planet

"papi is the ship redy yet this is chelkar is it ready i say again over" said chelkar

"A yeas it is!" said papi "We are good to go!"

"Okay good i will be there soon"

and so they were back on teh ship redy to go!

as they were in orbit of the planet chelkar look out the observation deck lookin sad

"What's wrong, Chelkar?" asked strom

"I duno" chelkar "i just wonderin, do u think khorne will ever catch sang?"

"Who knows" said strom "Maybe one day, we'll see him again, in the vast expanse of the cosmos."

"wow, that was pretty deep" said chelkar "im glad i can count on friends like u 2 always have my back"

...

...

...

"Strom?"

But strom was afk again

TO BE CONTINUE

_CHAPTER 4 MILESTONE!_

_Hey dont hate on me for making a milestone for every chapter, for a story as demanding to make as this is, i think i deserve_

_a milestone for every chapter made!_

_I would like to thank everyone who ben givin me constructive criticisms, I really appreciate it, except for you jack and concerned reader, you two are just_

_haters who i aint got time to fret over! (if u mess w/ the bull u gona get the horns!)_

_Hopefully chelkar and friends will get out of the eye of teror soon so we can get to some real stompin rogue trader action! but who knows?_

_Keep the reviews comin guys, I find them really helpful! But pls remember to post constructive cricis or it wont be good for yo_u!


	5. Chapter 5- WE GO THOGETHR

_Standing here _

_I realize_

_You are just like me_

_Trying to be mlg_

_Yet staring across this barren wasted land_

_I feel new fics will be born_

_Beneath the blood stained Land_

_Beneath the blood stained Land_

Chelkar sit in his command chair overviewin his crew, the Scion of Remedia had been in impulse for like 3 days, the warp drive didnt work yet because papi

was lazy an wasn't good w/ computers, (And the enginseer was ded!). Chelkar sit in his command chair chillaxin' when suddenly the SHIP SHAKE REALLY HARD, causing him to

jump out his chair and get papi on teh vox!

'Papi, what just happen?" Ask Chelkar

"It's a me! papi! well ah it looks a like the impulse engines are a broken! it wasn't a my fault!"

But papi had broken the engines on accident when he was trying to fix him, because he is a bad mechanic

"Shit, okay okay papi come back to the bridge and keep one of the other guys working down there, we need 2 talk!"

"okay a roger that!"

And so Papi came to the bridge and he saw chelkar, he look like he was spoiln for a fite

"Papi, u want 2 tell me why we are descending into another planets graivty!?" scream chelkar

"Its a not a my fault I promise!" shouted papi

But it was 2 late 4 papi, chelkar punch him in the face 4 breaing the engines

"Maybe that'll teach u, KID' said chelkar

"Chelkar a please! it wasnt a my fautl!"

"Put him in the brigg" said chelkar

an so papi was teken 2 the brigg to be held until further notice

"Okay, so who else can fly the ship" said chelkar

but he forgot nobody else could except for himself because he is the only one w/ the space ship skill!

"Well shit, it looks like its all up 2 me" said chelkar

an so he went to rollin' and thanks to his mlg agility boosts that he leveled up, he was able to crash land the ship just fine!

"Okay" said chelkar, get papi out of the brigg, tell him if the engines arent working in 24 hours he will be kill!"

and so chelkar look out the viewport and see the planet was a legitimate shit hole there was literally funguses and other terrible stuff everywhere!

"im gonna need an away team 4 dis one" said chelkar

"Strom! Corinthe! Felix! come with me!"

And so they all left the ship to go see what was down there

The hatch door open and the group leave the ship in super protective power armor suits that keep them safe from the toxic (Like the suits in alien!)

"Corinthe what are you reading on the auspex" sai chelkar

"Im seein somtin pretty big over to teh north east" said corinthe

'Then lets go find it!"

an so they trek for like THREE HOURS before they finally climb up a mushroom mountain and they see the most HORRIBE SITE and the end of the valley!

It was a massive mass of writhing flesh and bone and sinew and fungus and flies and bugs and disease and creepy crawlies!

"Oh no" said chelkar "I was hopin that we wouldt find this one, fuken disgustin"

"That we wouldnt find what?" as felix

"Shut up felix, nobody ask 4 ur opinion!"

"Yes sir" said felix as he droop his head

"We need to get out of here before he sees us." said strom

"Yeah, lets bounce from dis joint" said chelkar as he put in a lho stick (he never smoke b4 except the last 3 chapters, dont smoke kids! its bad 4 u!)

BUT the lho stick wud prove to be chelkar's doom! because the mass at hte bottom of teh mountain catch wind of the sweet toxic!

"is dat sum dank?" it said?

"Oh no! Run!" said chelkar as they all run back down the other way of teh mountain

but for being a fat fuck, the demon was prety quick little rascal and he caught up w/ them

"Felix stay w/ me! corinthe and strom run back to the ship 2 get backup!" said chelkar

"Okay trackin" said strom

And so chelkar made a distraction for strom and corinthe to get away but it ended up w/ the demon standing over him w/ his mouth wide open, and he look like he was

spoiln for afite

"Who are you!?" said chelkar

"We are one and the same" said the thing

"What do you mean!?"

"Long ago, we were merged 2gether because we were such alike w/ teh need for chaos and lack of showers an so now we are one, wherever we go, WE GO TOGETHR"

"But who are you!?" say chelkar

"I am magnetar" said the demon

"NO! i am variable! said another head on the demon"

"da fuck" said chelkar "Are you some kind of dorito demon?"

"DORITO DEMON? REALLY?" said the thing "YOU SURE SOUND PRETTY STUPID, ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT JUST SOME CALL OF THE EMPRAH KIDDIE WO DRANK TOO MUCH OF KHORNES CODE RED?

"This is inexcusable!" said the other head "Im gonna go file areport on this rite now!"

and when the demon try to reach for the keys on his voxpad, he realise it was on teh other side of the chasm and that his fat girth would

not fit through

"Oh well, go my nurglings!" said the demon "Go through the chasm and submit a report on this skrub!"

and so hundreds of nurglings burst forth from the demons rectum, and start headin toward chelkar

"Oh no" said chelkar as he grab felix and they both run into the chams

they ha dbeen runnin now for like 2 hours tryin to stop the nugrlings from gettin to the voxpad, but time was runnin short because they knew the pad was close

"Sergeant Felix" said chelkar

"Yes sir?"

"We need to stop dese demons at ALL COST, u understand this rite?"

"Yes sir, of course!"

"Then u wont mind if i do this then!" said chelkar as he shoot felix in the knee cap

"Agh! what the hell sir!?" said felix

But it was too late, chelkar had already primed a void grenade and had put it on a timer fuze next to Felix

"Good luck, felix, u will need it" said chelkar as he run to the voxpad

"Sir come back! don't just leave me here!"

"You think I'd let a skrub like u who talks down to his superiors SURVIFE?" ask chelkar

And before felix could say anything else, chelkar was already down the chasm unnin to the voxpad

a few second later the grnade go off, killin all teh nurglings and felix along w/ it!~

"Phew" said chelkar as he reach the voxpad

"Time 2 blow this joint" he breath 2 himself as he prep the semtex grenade and set it onto the pad

But rite before he set the timer, the nurgle demon thing approach him!

"KEPT U WAITING HUH" said the demon

"Fuck off you demon! why wont u get off my dick!"

"Because Chelkar, you cannot stop THE AWAKENING"

"Wat r u talkin bout?" said chelkar

"U see, if i submit the report from this voxpad, the old ones will finally awaken and purge this galaxy of all life! all freedoms! Nothing but death and disease will remain! It will be a paradise!"

"This galaxy is rotten to its core, it needs to be uprooted, BURN IT DOWN! and from the ashes a new galaxy will be born! A galaxy where disease is free 2 thrive! where the weak are purged and teh diseases thrive!"

"Woah" said chelkar "That's pretty edgy man, you're fucking insane!"

"HEH, MAKING THE MOTHER OF ALL OMELETS HERE, ERIK" said the demon "CANT FRET OVER EVERY EGG"

"Not when you're 'purging the weak' right?" said chelkar "What do you know about being weak? All you do is sit on you voxpad and write negative criticis of other peoples stories all day! in some cushy nurgle scholitarium!"

but then the demon grab chelkar and throw him to the ground

"ACTUALLY, ERIK, I HAVE A CONFESSION 2 MAKE"

"I AM, NURGLE"

Chelkar gasp in FEAR

"pls dont give me std" said chelkar "u can give me any other disease, just pls not my dick"

"ITS 2 LATE" said the demon, u are already tested positive for chlamidya!

"NO!" scream chelkar "THATS IMPOSSIBLE! Why did u do this!?'

"Because I AM THE GOD OF DISEASE, PATHETIC HUMAN" scream the demon

"Did you really think you could stop THE AWAKENING just by blowing up a voxpad?" Nurgle shaek its hed

"you truly are naive, erik, you can't save the galaxy, nobody can!"

It's time 2 die, erik, nothin' personel, KID"

Chelkar look down an accept his fate until suddenly he heard something in the distance

"Gais its me!" said Talos "CHelkar ur a fuckin asshole for launchin me out o that warp cannon!"

"Who teh fuck is this?" said nurgle

But before anyone could answer, chelkar heard a voice that sounded all 2 familiar

"NURGLE U FUCKING BITCHBOI, U THINK U CAN JUST MAKE DISEASE RULE TEH GALAXY ON MY WATCH!? W/O LIFE THERE CAN BE NO BLOODSHED AD THATS NOT GONA HAPPEN

IF ITS UP 2ME BBY"

It was khorne! he had come to save teh day!

Chelkar rush to hide underneath a rock w/ talos and they watch teh battle ensue ( /watch?v=6IjnoM5-mnw )

Nurgle and khorne face off w/ eachother gettin red for teh fite

Nurgle made the first move w/ tryin to complain about khornes grammer, but khorne respond w/ a axe to his face!

Khorn hen proceed to beat the LIVING SHIT out of urgle cuttin off his arms and legs

but nurgle sprouted tentacles! and began breeding violence from his tentacles and hurting khorne w/ diseases!

But thanfully khorne was such a raging juggalo that he already ahd every std in the galaxy and it didnt matter

"NOOoOoO" SAID NURGLE "MY ONE STRENGTH IS MY WEAKNESS!"

Nurgle try to crawl despereatly to the voxpad w/ his tentacles, he had to get the word out to the old ones THE AWAKENING had 2 happen!

But just before nurgles tentacle press the submit button, khorne grab him and pull him back

"NOBODY FUCKS WITH THE GALAXY EXCEPT FOR ME" SAID KHORNE AS HE PUT HIS AXE TO NURGLES THROAT AND SPLIT IT OPEN

Blood, Pus, and mucus spill out the wound but it wasnt enough

Khorne became so enraged that nurgles shit got on his armor that he continue to hack and slash and maim and kill and burn and then he broke nurgles back!

Chelkar sat underneath cover amazed, when suddenly he realise he needed to destroy the voxpad once and for all

"Talos, run, strom should be here soon" he said as he run out from under cover, dodging the battling gods and prepped the semtex for detonation

Chelkar press the button and ran back w/ talos as the semtex detonate

"NoooOoOoO! MY VOXPAD!" said nurgle as he ralise the gig was up

Nurgle was now just a spewing mess of blood and gore and disease, all that remained alive was his 2 heads

Khorne pick them up w/ both hands

"Khorne! what haveu done!?" said nurgle "We could have rule teh galaxy as war and pestillence!"

"HEH" SAID KHORNE "U THINK I NEED PESTILLENCE WHEN I COULD JUST HAVE EVERLASTING WARRRRRR"

"THINK AGAIN KID, IT WAS NOTHIN' PERSONEL" HE SHOUTED AS HE SQUISH THE TWO HEADS TOGETHER, CRUSHING THEM FLAT

It was over, nurgle was ded ad khorne was he last chaos god left standin' (Because i the 41st millenia theres only war!)

"NOW WHERE DID THOSE LITTLE BITCHBOIS GO?" THOUGHT KHORNE "IM NOT FINISHED W/ THAT TALOS FAGGOT YET"

But it was 2 late, chelkar and talos were already on a shuttle to the scion of remedia!

They docked on the ship and chelkar rush back to the bridge

"papi givem e status update!"

"its a me! Papi!" said papi "The warp drive is functional but its gona be aminute to recharge!"

"Hurry up papi, we got an angry god on our tail!"

"Okay!"

and then chelkar look out the viewports and see khorne comin at him

"BITCHBOIII" SCRREAM KHORNE AS HE POINT HIS AXE AT THE SHIP

butit was 2 late, the ship began takin off as the engines com 2 life and the scion of remedia had escaped into orbit, leaving khorne on the desolate dank, planet

Chelkar lean back into his seat and breth deep sigh of relief

"papi, engage warp engine, take us home"

"Okay a sure thing!" said papi

"But one thing first" said chelkar as he put his gun to papis head

"What are you a doign!" scream papi

"Givin u a bonus to ur agility test KID, dont fuck thsi up!" said chelkar

and then papi rolled good on his rolls thanks to the charisma bonus from chelkar and they were back on course to Hideo Station (thats in the remedia sector of space!)

Chelkar and his crew were finally able to relax

"So what now?" Strom thought out loud, "We've somehow killed all but one chaos god, that must be a vital blow, right?"

"No," said chelkar "For every chaos god that dies, another, smaller one, will grow and take his place, we cannot win against an enemy like this, not w/o lots of firepower and lots of men!"

"I see" said strom "thats pretty deep"

"But the Imperium must sense that chaos is weakened at the moment, they may attempt another assault on the eye of terror, if we should be contacted by them for assistance, deny the request immediately. there is no way in hell

we are goin back to that shithole!"

"Understood" said strom "So what does that leave us then? What are we gonna do now?"

"What we've been trying to do this whole RP" said chelkar as the camera cut 2 the ship flyin thru teh warp to this song /watch?v=QGJuMBdaqIw

"Play the fucking game."

*cut 2 the ship flyin thru teh warp to katy perry - firewrok! *

**TO BE CONTINUE?**

2_2 REVIEW MILESTONE BAYBEE!_

_I'd like to thank every1 for givin constructive criticis this story, i tryd realy hard w/ it, there were some people who wanted to be negative w/ their criticis, but they got da horns! (U kno who u are!)_

_I been workin realy hard on improvin the story grammer and spelling, i think i ben gettin better at it!_

_Should I write more chapters or make a spinoff story? Let me know in the reviews!_

_See you guys again soon hopefully!_


	6. Chapter 6- ROGUE TRADER: THE BOUNTY HUNT

Chelkar puff out the sweet toxic from his lho stick (he never smoke usually but it had been a rouf ride so he was smokin just one pack) as he overviewed the bridge of the scion of remedia

"Papi, status?" he ask

"It's a me! Papi! We will be a reaching Helios Station in approxiamately 1 month!" said papi

"Well ten, looks like we gona be chillaxin for a long time" said chelkar

"What do you recommend we do?" Asked strom

Chelkar puff out his lho stick, look at the recroom an smile

"We gona be playin' ping pong fuckers"

"For 24 days?"

"Yes."

"What are we gonna do when we get to helios station?"

Chelkar smile again and puff out his lho stick one last time b4 crushin it against the arm of teh comman chari"

"What we do best, bounty huntin"

**DUE TO POPULAR DEMAND**

**ROGUE TRADER: THE BOUNTY HUNTER**

**COMING Q1 2015**

/watch?v=wLVCiGhVP1c

**_are you redy?_**


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